Time of reflection

Recently I turn 40, aka Version 4.0. So far it has been pretty good, got new running shoes, socks and even started using both on several occasions to run/jog...Can you believe it!! Yes it is actually true. Even started eating different since my better half is now having sugar/glucose issues. We have cut out a lot of carbohydrates and are mainly eating meat, cheese, and veggies and it seems to be helping her and making my tummy just as happy.

I have also had a bit of reflection on life as well. Contemplations about what is important and what makes me happy. More important that tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. Who knows if I will wake up tomorrow and see the sunshine like I did today. This didn't happen for a friend of mine this morning, she passed away early today of a cancerous brain tumor. She didn't ask for this nor did she deserve this. All her life she was the good girl, the smart girl, she graduated with honors and was a cheerleader. She was so brave and strong all the way to the end. Several treatments and surgeries both unfortunately did not fix what ailed her. A little over a year ago another friend passed from a heart attack. Both of these people were full of life, you could see the sparkle in their eyes of the fire that burned deep in their souls. I have never really been that much of a "religious" person but I do believe that they are watching after all of us. I'm sure they feel pain of missing their family members; children, a husband, a girlfriend and of course the friends that they brought close into their lives but they are no longer in any physical pain. I guess my prospective on life has changed a bit since I was 17-18 yrs old surrounded by friends and such thinking how great our lives are gonna be when we are real adults living on our own do what we want. We do not think that any of our friends are gonna die of a heart attack by age 39 or a brain tumor by age 40.

Steve & Lanie your friends and family will always love you, miss you and never forget you.

Sorry for the delay, got distracted by life......

Well, as of January 2001 I found myself out of the uniform and looking for a civilian career. It fortunately did not take me very long, since my last position in the contracting arena was in the IT section. I had the honor of working with a company that installed/integrated/designed professional audio visual systems. I had given them several contracts to do work for the base so I knew the folks there pretty well. I of course forwarded a copy of my resume and before long they were calling and asking me when I wanted to come in so they could hire me...weirdest interview I have ever been on. Only stipulation was...I could not do any administration on the contracts that I had let to them while I was the contracting officer during my military term. Working for LVW Electronics was such a great learning experience, taught me a lot about customer service and how to properly conduct business the good and honest way.

About a year later I felt it was time to move on, Colorado was not where I was suppose to be and I knew it not just physically but mentally and emotionally. So we headed south, and when I say we I mean me, my girls, and their dad. We just did a hop skip and a jump south and landed in Norman Oklahoma. I once again got a job with a Professional AV company, Visualworks! of Oklahoma. I ended up taking over the Oklahoma office and running it single handly. I got to do some pretty cool installations and designs and that expanded my knowledge as well but truthfully it was still too cold and really not my style there either so about a year down the road we headed south once again.

We landed in what we call home which is Pensacola Florida. When we got here I thought I might try a new career, one that have me give back to my fellow man. So I started school using my GI Bill that the military so kindly offered years earlier, to pursue a certification as an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) and my goal after that was to get certified as a Paramedic. this was of course easier said then done. Yes I had the GI Bill and that helped pay for school but I still had two young girls at home to care for so I got a job hauling pizza's at domino's part time to make ends meet. I completed taking anatomy and physiology lab and lecture I and II over the summer of 2003. But then came the task of getting accepted into the EMT program, which was very hard since it was in high demand at the time. During which time that I was in a holding pattern I changed to work full time at domino's and found my self climbing the ladder with that company going from a part time driver to a full time driver to the lead driver. Oddly enough one of the drivers got a wild hair and decided to petition for a pizza delivery drivers union. I attempted to sway him from this but Jim was determined and never looked back. As of April 6th 2005 the store was official unionized so I thought I would be best working on the management side attempting to keep peace between the ownership and the union, well I got to the management side and was the assistant manager and that was that. I had enough so I handed in my key and went back to driving, also made more money driving then managing. The general manager that hired me had quit and gone off to start up his own place so as of June 2006 he offered me the General Manager position with his place, Pizzaman Pizza. Now that was an adventure. I was part of that place from the ground up, painting walls, laying tiles, cutting chair rail. That was going well but unfortunately working 60-70 hrs per week kinda puts a damper in ones life. Plus, it did not offer any type of benefits which as a parent of small kids you kinda need/want so I threw in my towel and headed out to search once again another career.

After 3 months of applying and interviewing and being scared out of my mind that I would never find another job I got a call. This time from a place I applied at early on in the process but thought it was a moot issue. Mediacom called and inquired if I was interested in coming in for an interview, of course I jumped on it. I had worked in a customer service environment for a very long time but never a call center and never technical support but i figured what do I have to loose. The interview started and then he asked me...do you know how to find an IP address on a computer, my answer....hmmm, i have worked on a lot of computers over the years but honestly I haven't the foggiest but I'm a quick learner. Not sure if that was a help or maybe the talk about pizza but either way they called me back and hired me and that is where I stand today.

On a side note while all this job hopping was happening I found myself, my true self, the self I am today and continue to build upon. I also found the love of my life during the process. That wonderful and amazing experience may be the next chapter...who knows

And the tale goes on

I wanted to join the military since my Junior year in High School. When that was brought up my mother said not no but hell no, you will go to college get a degree and do something with your life. I tried that path right out of High School, got accepted at Howard University and was set to pursue a degree in Pharmacology and be a Pharmacist and live a happy productive life, that is until my father decided he did not like the college I was attending after my first semester and that was when that vision ended. I paid rent to live at home and moved out at 18 with 2 friends. In June of 1990 I made a decision, if I was not doing what I wanted to do for the rest of my life by January I would join the military whether my parents liked it or not. I went to see several recruits, they all seemed eager to get me to join, almost too aggressive. That was until I walked in the Air Force Office, he was in shorts and a tank top (it was Friday afternoon, and he was headed home to his house on the beach in Ocean City MD), he asked if I could come back on Monday and then we could talk. So of course I went back on Monday, sat back had a good conversation and within a week I was headed to MEPS to take my ASVAB and have a physical. Apparently I did well enough on the ASVAB I had my pick of any job, I chose several wishes. About two weeks later my recruiter called and said, well I got you a good job...Contracting. My first question, and what was that again? He explained it as..when they need a new engine for a jet, you buy it. I thought, OK I guess I can do that. I called my mom and asked, so...since you have worked for every branch of the military which one would you say treated you the best? After a long pause she replied, I would say the the Air Force. My response, "good, cause that is the one I joined". the phone got real quiet for a long time....MOM? Mom? You OK? She finally responded with lots of questions....when did you enlist, when are you going, what will you be doing. I of course answered them all but that did not set her at ease.

I left for basic early on an August morning, arriving at Lackland late at night. The first few days/nights are hard to remember but I made it through the 6 wks then headed north to Lowry AFB outside of Denver CO for my job training, then I got the privilege of being stationed at the USAF Academy for almost 4 yrs, I was part of the USAF Honor Guard on base as well as the drill and sabre teams. I also played softball for the women's base team. Yeah, I made the most of my time there but that time almost got cut short. A staff sgt had moved into the dorm right next to mine and we grew to like one another, she had invited me to join her and some friends out for a night of clubbing downtown. We had a blast, dancing a drinking til the early morning hours then of course hit the local Denny's for breakfast & coffee before heading back on base. Once back on base we headed back to her room and fell asleep, nothing happened except we fell asleep next to one another. Well, someone noticed me leaving her room early that next morning and apparently said something to someone cause next thing I know the OSI (Office of Special Investigations) is investigation me for homosexual relations. No, this was not my first time being spoken to about this type of thing. Back in High school I got "sweet" on someone and innocently left notes & poems in her locker and my guidance counselor called me into her office and explained to me that was inappropriate and that I should cease all further contact with this person. Anyway, the OSI sat me done and asked what happened so I told them...as did she and several other of my friends. They actually asked my friends if I had ever made them feel uncomfortable when I looked at them or touched them, to include my room mate. During all of this I could not be seen with her or even around her. I had scheduled leave to take a vacation home during this time and they had thought about cancelling it but they didn't. She had also scheduled leave and we had planned to convoy til we hit her hometown in Kansas then I would go on my own from there, safer to travel together. But of course could not leave base at the same time so we met up at a gas station and left from there. We drove all the way til we hit her mom's house in Kansas and she invited me to stay and get some sleep rather then getting a hotel room and spending money, I stayed and slept a few hours in a recliner rather then joining her in bed which she had offered. Upon my return from leave and a few more meetings with the OSI agent the investigation was dismissed and nothing was ever left on my record, but it will always remain in the back of my mind. In June of 1995 I got transferred to Peterson AFB where I completed my military service. I received several awards and commendations to include an achievement medal and not one but two commendation medals, all as an E-4 (SrA) plus receiving a Contracting Officer Warrant which enabled me to obligate the military in contractual agreements.

I look back at the entire situation and still can not understand or comprehend why it's is such a big deal....if something had actually happened would that effect my job and my service to my country, I think not. I served my country faithfully and honorable and would expect nothing less from anyone who chooses to take the oath. I am proud to be a veteran of the armed service but I am sad to see so many high skilled and trained soldiers, airman, marines and seaman discharged and or not given the opportunity to do the same because of their sexual orientation. DADT (Don't Ask, Don't Tell) needs to be rescinded so we are able to have the best and the brightest serve in our military without fear.

And so we move forth

As you can probably tell I was my dad's little shadow for several years to come. Road motorcycles with him until I got a bicycle, at age 5, then road those with him. Then a year or two later I joined the DC Road Runners Club and began long distance jogging. Well that was enjoyable for a few years until I found Soccer, running and kicking a ball, what fun. Did that til we moved when I was about 10. A few yrs past then I found my love for softball, played that from about 13 all the way thru my senior year in High School, as well as being a total band geek and playing the alto and soprano saxophone from 5th grade on. Yes, I was fairly well rounded. Playing sports and musical instruments, did fairly well in school. At about age 12 my parents decided that they would provide my needs but if I had wants then it was up to me to get them. So, I was off to find work, did standard neighborhood stuff; mowing lawns, raking leaves, shoveling snow but eventually I got a "real job" with a "real paycheck". That happened a month before I turned 13, yes we are talking Virginia and I had to get a work permit from the city. I had a great time, learned about growing up and responsibility. Worked my first job for 2 1/2 yrs, then moved on to a better paying job so when I turned 16 I was able to buy my first car, pay for insurance and even afford gas for it...yippee. Well, that was all fine and dandy but that is where things changed with my dad and I. I think he felt I no longer needed him so we grew apart. That was a very sad part of my life. We barely spoke but still lived under the same roof. I even remember almost coming to physical blows with him cause we did not agree. Side note, I'm 5'4" and he was 6', definite size difference. I fortunately had wonderful friends that I could go to when times got tough as they often did.

Just to add another slight twist to things my grandmother, dads mom, had an aneurysm in the frontal lobe of her brain back in 1984, which left her in a coma for a week and a half, they performed surgery and released the pressure and she survived. She spent 3 more months in the hospital and then because she required additional therapy we refurnished the basement in our house to accommodate her and she moved in. She was never left alone, we had therapists, physical, occupational, and speech, coming several times a week and when they were not there we all pitched in and ran her thru it all ourselves. The doctor initially stated upon leaving the hospital that she might live for a year and would probably never walk on her own again. Well, they did not know her stubbornness, she not only walked on her own in under a year but lived for an additional 10 yrs, she was not gonna let those doctors tell her what she could or could not do with her life, yeah she was very spunky.

At 18 I moved out and moved in with 3 friends in an apartment and lived there until my next adventure began, The United States Air Force...dah dah daaaaa, key the scary music.

First Run

I figure I would start with a little background of the who's and what's and how's so you might get an idea of what and how formed me to be who I am today. Back on a cold January evening I was born in Northern Virginia. I am the youngest of three children. I grew up in what I considered to be a very "normal" family but as I look back now I see we all were pretty dis-functional but then again how many of us grew up like "The Cleavers"? My first real memory is of me and my dad. I guess I was about 3 yrs old, my sister had decided to ride motorcycles but then once she did it a few times decided against it so as any parent would they offered to the other kids. My middle sister of course veto'd the offer so it fell to me...and of course being 3 and thinking I could take on the world I said.."sure". I could barely touch the foot pegs therefore there was no way I could touch the ground so my dad would jog along next to the bike each and everytime I wanted to ride. This went on for a few weeks til I spoke up and said, "I think this one is too big, can I get a littler one?" My dad being the man he is found a good deal one a little Suzuki Jr 50. It was yellow and black and just my size. He brought it home in the back of the truck and I could hardly wait for him to take it out so I could "try it out". Well, the first run was not so successful. I thought I could do it and well, ended up head first into a rose bush after I was determined to "do it myself". My father removed me and the bike from the rose bush and from that point on I decided to listen to his instructions.